I've asked my boss not to do that again. Work makes it easier for me to get through the night.
I think I might see if there is another job out there for me. I need to do something with my time besides remembering how good it would feel to get drunk.
Why does my memory do this? Getting drunk doesn't feel good. Not when you are an alcoholic. The best I can say about taking a drink is that there is a sense of relief when you're an alcoholic. Drinking is what you do to get back up to that neutral line.
Imagine the underscore line is neutral normal feeling.
X (This is where I was as young man when I was drinking.)
_____________________
X (This is where I am now as an old man when I am not drinking.)
But my memory tells me I will feel better if I have a drink. I wonder if I will ever make it back to the neutral normal place sober.
I need to do more with my time so I can stay sober.
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Getting sober has brought me untold rewards but it's also the hardest thing I've ever done. Hang in there...the best is yet to come if you can just stay focused on sobriety.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard the expression, "Move a muscle, change a thought"? That's worked for me as well as working with another alcoholic...anything to get out of my self-centered fear.
Thank you Ginnie.
ReplyDeleteAnd to avoid thinking about myself, I will be volunteering as a Gofer at the Saint Patrick Hospital.
Happy Easter.